Tonight's C-SPAN take-aways

So what did we learn about politics today, children?

Today we learned that Republican* politicians are so useless that they are still using the same old tired talking points they were a year ago when they undemocratically blocked the democratically elected representatives of the American people. They've got a couple new ones, but I don't find them as good as the previous ones.

Among the many things said by Steve King of Iowa, Paul Brown of Georgia, John Carter of Texas and other lackeys of the GOP leadership and their puppet masters:

• Republicans are not, as Democrats say, the "party of no". They've got a wonderful slogan now- they're the "party of K-N-O-W". Well at least they can spell n-o-w. But seriously, they know exactly how to solve all our problems. They just didn't feel like doing it during their control of all three arms of the federal government during the Bush administrations.
• Democrats only have one objective: a government takeover of the healthcare system. And a bureaucrat is going to stand between you and your doctor. Which of course is totally different from an insurance company bureaucrat standing between you and your doctor, so different in fact we won't even mention this happens.
• 2000 pages is far too much text for the American people, not that this means the American people are dumb, because they're not, but reading this would make them "jump over a cliff". Just give them simple stuff to read, heavily peppered with pictures, if you don't mind - homeschooling is on the rise.
• Obama is going to cram a bill down our throats at the "so called" healthcare summit except he doesn't have a bill, because the 12 pages he presented have "no legislative language." It's a schrodinger's cat kind of deal- Louie Gohmert is having a fit trying to figure it out which bill Obama is talking about, but he's getting great help from has-been Gingrich on that. Besides- Obama wants to meet with Ahmadinejad and it's a government takeover and it's 2000 PAGES LONG!!! (I shit you not- he actually listed all those things in the same breath- check 9pm on C-SPAN, thankfully he was cut off by a colleague before he provided yet more idiocy thing)
• Democrats think they're so smart, and that they're so elite, and that's stupid. Because... well there's no given reason, just they're so elite, but that's a bad thing, because common sense is better than... Com-? Yeah! Common sense is smarter!
• Democrats' ideas are kind of like horse manure, which stinks... yet is used for fertilizer. So there you go- a winning argument using both a contradiction and an analogy which stinks.
• Obama is a sneaky bastard because C-SPAN doesn't have provide coverage all over the White House. Only our debate here on the floor of congress is open. Please ignore the fact that Louie Gohmert's office isn't rigged with cameras- he's exempted because he's outraged at Mr. Hussein "Socialism" Obama.
• Illegal aliens are our worst enemy. Well, them and abortions. But back to the gentleman from Texas insist there is only one way to make sure we don't care for illegal aliens. This is to require that before you receive emergency treatment you must prove your citizenship. So remember kids: if you happen to suffer a terrible injury, make sure that before you are taken to the hospital you've got three forms of identification, or you'll be sent home. Yes, that includes you little 6 year-old Johnny. We don't care if you cut off your finger at scouts, your mother will have to get here before we look at it. Security is more important- "pro-life" has an asterisk, you know. Besides, the terrorists are trying to kill you and better you die by the hand of government.
• Steve King of Iowa still doesn't understand that the President of the United States cannot pass legislation. Perhaps he should crack open a copy of the constitution and figure out his job description.
• Paul Broun, also of Georgia is pissed off that Obama limited budget cuts to only a 20% area of the budget. Naturally that's a great argument, especially when you consider that this is generally the percentage of discretionary spending available after mandatory items such as defense, social security and medicaid. Talking points are SO much better than truth.
• Paul Broun continues to claim the constitution wasn't written by a bunch of lawyers In actuality it was a bunch of illiterate farmers whom God inspired or something, to craft this perfect document. Except we need to add a clause against those homos, because they're a curse from God because of those liberal Satan-worshiping baby killers. I'd listen to him because he's tight with the founding fathers.
• Democrats have extremist and fundamentalist views, who cannot accept ideas different from their own. Kids: use the following words to build a retort: "black", "pot" "kettle".
• Americans LOVE their cars, especially their American cars, but saving the US auto industry was a socialist takeover over private business, regardless of it saving those companies and jobs, because those jobs are union jobs. Fuck the American people, fuck their cars and fuck those unamerican union members. The only people who care are the investors, who should not get punished for putting their money into a failing company.
• Experts aren't- ever, and "the American people knew better than Wall Street experts." (Steve King, Iowa at 9:35pm). This is why nobody lost their home except those elitist fat-cat brokers. Except for scared and angry Americans.
• Michelle "(God, help us)" Bachmann of Minnesota is infuriated at the idea that healthcare premiums will have price caps. Because whenever governments mess with price-fixing, that leads to scarcity. Except in many places in the world, such as in Israel where I grew up where food staples are fixed so people don't starve. Also, Obama's going to kill grandma, but he's going to keep illegal aliens alive. Yeah, she brought out those old gems again.

Sorry but I'm done now. Bachmann tirades and the whining of sore losers really wear me out.

* The segment I watched was a Republicans-only rant-fest. No debate with Democrats, which they so plead for during. I know it's not a politically-smart thing to yield your limited speaking time to the other party, but if you insist on having better arguments, you may seem like a coward by avoiding honest confrontation. I assume the Democrats make equally stupid arguments in their time, assuming they even care about public relations.