Campbel's Stitch'n Soup

Every once in a while, while viewing my the BBC's "Live bookmarks" that come pre-configured in Firefox, I open an article even though I really do know better.

Today it was an article about model Naomi Campbell, who has been sentenced to do some dirty work (and pay medical expenses, but that doesn't help get her in the tabloids).

I don't about these so-called "famous" people. Their accomplishments are often mediocre at best. Many of them who are followed because of their looks, are often unappealing to me- take Paris Hilton for example: Yuck!

But back to my original chain of thought. So once in a while, I actually get something out of the articles written about these empty, shallow creatures. Honest.

In this case, I was given a fascinating question to ponder. No, not what is Campbell going to wear when she's mopping the floor. What I'm wondering with all my mental might is how on Earth does throwing a cellphone at somebody give them four stitches???

I don't get it. I mean, did she slingshot it around her head, thereby providing it with the kind of heat you only get from a major-league star pitcher? Did it have a spike collar accessory? Did the woman already have stitches in the exact point of impact, which were broken, thus requiring re-stitching? What is the statistical likelihood of that happening? How many more semesters of physics would I need to calculate the airspeed velocity of an European cellphone if one were throwing it by the husk? Is Naomi Campbell an ex-pitcher in a major league and how does that affect above statistics?